AGGRESSIVELY MASTURBATES
Passively masturbates
nonchalantly masturbates

This is a place in which I will discuss controversial issues, challenge perceptions, debate politics and overcome prejudice. Failing that I will make a joke about cocks and take a picture of myself. Tumblr is for 'expressing yourself' and I'd love to express myself all over you.




of you can see what I did there
• Ask me anything
AGGRESSIVELY MASTURBATES
Passively masturbates
nonchalantly masturbates
I don’t like people waving a rotten vegetable in my face so I have been told to stop being so sensitive when I literally said “stop it”
I’m not being sensitive I just realise I’m not five years old and your ‘joke’ wasn;t funny.
Stop coming home, you’re fucking annoying.
I find you more tedious than my depression so please vacate.
Feminists and MRA’s should join forces and start actively making a real difference.
What they want isn’t so different, they want typical gender roles to be shattered, they want to be not entirely equal but on a much similar level. Look at what they’re both saying, no one wants whole power, they just want their problems addressing and their roles to be changed. Neither want to be forced into anything based solely on their gender.
But feminists won’t listen to men
and MRA’s won’t listen to women
and I’m sick of seeing a flame war between them and wondering exactly what anyone is doing to make a difference other than petulantly screaming YOU’RE WRONG, YOU’RE IGNORANT, YOU HATE ME until someone quits and it just continues.
Oh look, another Feminist convinced she not only knows men. She can read their fucking minds. The weird thing is, though… whenever Feminists like this tell us convincingly what the brains of other people are saying… if those people are male… it’s always evil. Or stupid. Or cruel. Or useless.
No Feminist has ever gotten on one of these gifs by claiming to speak for all men everywhere and say “Wow, these guys, they really sacrifice so much for others. Just look at how often they die so other people don’t have to. That’s really awesome”.
Fuck no. That shit won’t get you on a tumblr gif. Telling women that men are fucking clueless and see Kim Kardashian’s make-up plastered face as “natural”? That shit will get you spread far and wide.
You know how, deep down, I know Feminists have no grand dream of equality between men and women? Because shit like this, shit like the fucking misandry tag… all that shit says one thing… that Feminists view men as less than human.
Don’t believe me? Just look at the shit they say… watch the memes and cartoons and things they spread. They all have one overarching theme… Masculinity, and Men are Wrong.
You’re all a part of a fucking hate movement and you don’t even know it and your fucking pride won’t let you admit it.
I’m just pointing out, you seem to really hate people too. What’s it like having that in common with the people you hate. Harsh.
However, I think this gif is ridiculous because if a man said Kim Kardashian he would obviously be talking about she is naturally beautiful regardless of make up. And that’s just preference, and that’s a-okay, and I just wish everyone would be less angry because you’re going to die young due to stress
(Source: lizbunny)
Now, when David Cameron became leader of the Conservative party, he decided it was very important for him to try to seem nice.
‘How shall I do this?’ he thought. ‘Abolish tuition fees? Increase the welfare budget? Keep the libraries open?’ But those things wouldn’t just be seeming nice, he realised, they’d involve actually being nice, which felt wrong.
He wanted to be sincere, so he stared into the depths of his soul, and found, several thousand fathoms down in the inky gloom, a tiny glimmer of light; ‘I don’t hate the gays!’ he realised with a shock! ‘I really don’t! I’ve tried but it turns out I don’t.’
‘Well that’ll do! I’ll make the Tories pro-gay marriage! It’ll seem so incongruous and modern, it’ll completely scramble everybody’s preconceptions about us. It’ll be like the Green Party proposing a tax breaks to Foie Gras importers, or the Lib Dems getting into power. While we’re pro-gay marriage, all our policies of burning pensioners to help heat Google’s offices, and making blind benefit claimants prove it by throwing darts at them and taking away their welfare if they flinch will be ignored. This is the cleverest political idea since Tony Blair banned fox hunting instead of having socialism.’
But enough of my rigorously impartial summary of the situation…
”—
David Mitchell’s ‘rigorously impartial’ story of how David Cameron chose to make the Conservative Party pro-gay marriage.
And that, my friends, is how to do satire.
(via rotblond)
As much as I enjoy anything David Mitchell, Charlie Brooker or Jimmy Carr has to say I can’t really enjoy it afterwards due to the memory of Lauren Laverne shutting the joke down and reading badly from an autocue.
Well done laverne, you’re making the show SHIT
(via victoryxx)
how often on a daily basis do you wonder if you’re One Of Those Annoying People Who Cant Take A Hint and people only respond to you bc they feel obligated
Luckily for me I talk to literally no one so I’m safe from your hate
(via amandabel1man)
Pretty girls with long hair!! Stop cutting that shit off!! Boys don’t wanna date girls with boys haircuts!! Sorry!!

Sorry, what were you saying?
(Source: guccigoggles, via atmyalltimelow)
how could one not reblog this?
I hope this is as fruitful as the Harry Potter one.
(Source: mrfizzlessaysyourelying, via indica-tor)
An open letter to my chest infection:
Dear, chest infection. Why do you only truly come to light as I’m ready to sleep, it’s really annoying so just fuck off.
Thanks.
the-honestheart asked: life without beards is awfully strange. hence i refuse to go without one.
Why would you even consider it?!
I know a beard is everyone’s cup of tea but those people are sick and wrong and frankly the most deplorable of all.
tailored23 asked: The reason why I refuse to shave my beard off
Beards are gifts, the removal of which should make you resentful of self.
Barbaphiles unite, let’s abolish all razors (except maybe a couple because I want smooth legs still)
i wish there was a non-assholeish way to say “our friendship has run it’s course, you make me uncomfortable with your feelings and a lot of shit you do pisses me off bye”
“I don’t actually like your fandom”
(Source: joan-watson, via scottishtempertantrum)
I just realized that “pun intended” is a pun on “unintended” and I’m literally about to gouge my eyes out I’m so angry
This. Changes. Everything.
(via acidd-the-ocelot)